Laos
Click on text Laos above to see more pictures
Laos is pretty amazing. Its one of the last few remote areas and unknown countries that haven’t been over run by tourists, and its authenticity and history is amazing. Apparently the US has dropped 240 million bombs (one bomb every eight seconds for nine years) during the Vietnam war here over this country of seven million, and a third of them have still not detonated and are just sitting around, YAYYY GO USA L !!! The best part of crossing the border was that we had to pay seven dollars less for our Visas than the Canadians, suck it Canada!
We are taking a two day drive down the river. Six hours a day in a boat, just chilling, talking, listening to music, and reflecting on your life, while you pass some of the most amazing scenery ever. To be honest I could have done with only an hour or two since the scenery is the same and becomes almost like the moving pictures you buy in the mall. We stopped last night at this town Pan Pheng. The entire town consisted of one small street. It was desolate and remote, and this was supposed to be the up and coming town that just keeps on growing and getting more of a tourist attraction. Apparently they just got electricity in this town, and they seem to celebrate it by selling food laced with weed, opium, and mushrooms in it, called “Happy”. Anything you order with the word “happy” in it apparently has drugs. My room was overrun by ants and the guest house owner who had also just taken on the role of cook, by making me pancakes in his adjacent restaurant, was now also an exterminator, and spraying this nuclear smelling bug spray all over the room. Its fair to say that my review on Tripadvisor, will not be including too many of the words “luxury” in it. In fact their new advertising slogan should be; “If you are horny and can’t get laid, come to us, We only have “cold showers”!
I am writing this in Laos and already my memory is clouded as to all the places I have been and things I have done. If you are following the pictures you probably know more about what I did than me. We went to visit the hill tribe people, and the long neck tribe. These are people that find long necks attractive, so they put these rings in their neck. Every year they add a ring and this stretches their necks to a point that if they take off their rings their head would fall off since they don’t have muscles to support it. (well not fall off but fall to the side and rest on their shoulders) While I was considering if that would work on my penis, we were treated to a dance that looked more like a few depressed woman walking around in a circle. Some of the woman looked extremely old and leathered, (see picture) and thought maybe they have the answer to all of life’s diseases, but then I realized she’s probably 39.