Amsterdam
How can you say anything negative about a city that stands for sex, drugs, parties and full on prostitution? Well allow me to be so bold. The city is really sleazy, dirty, and shameful. The look of shame that crosses guys face as they walk out of a door in the red light district is hard to describe but I will try. In order to understand this you must understand how the red light district works. The red light district is essentially a window shopping area for prostitutes. You walk by apartments that are on the ground floor, with each apartment having a glass display or door facing the street. They all have a red curtain in front of the window and if its open that means its open for business. In front of the window stands a girl and as you walk by she bangs on the window and winks and beckons you to come in for a quickie. When you go in (so I have been told) they try to finish you off and send you packing as fast as possible. You go in to the room, they close the red curtain and they proceed to what is essentially a sex factory assembly line. Now picture rows and rows of these windows in every side street with beautiful girls in underwear in each one of them on display like Christmas on 5th ave and you start to get the picture. Now there are thousands of tourists a day in Amsterdam, including woman, children and grandparents touring the red light district, and when someone walks into a door into the five foot by five foot little sex room, he is not going in there to ask for directions. Now going in is half the trouble, you are driven by need and desire, but coming out is after you start to have “cummers remorse”, and walking out onto the street and a hundred people looking at you and knowing you just slept with a prostitute, is not a performance that desires an encore.
In Amsterdam the police are called “Polite” which is the Dutch word for Police, which is ironic since the police are really polite. In fact they are so polite they border on being pushovers. We watched people get drunk, get up in their faces, threaten them and antagonize them, and do things that in LA would be grounds for becoming forcibly involved in a homosexual relationship with a police baton. They must be under strict orders not to mess with tourists.
Some noteworthy events included a major brawl which you can see on the video above, staying in the nicest hotel in Amsterdam, riding bikes and having my friend almost get run over and flattened by a tram, and meeting two of the prettiest nicest girls from Serbia, which highlighted the fact that we are ignorant and know nothing about their country or culture (well why should we? we are not at war with them )
We finished Amsterdam with great expectations for what lay ahead, we were going to Ibiza; the biggest party town in Europe. We were staying in five star hotels the entire trip and this would be no different except for one thing: We were staying in the hottest hotel in entire Ibiza. The hotel was the party every evening between the hours of five and twelve. This was the only thing going on in Ibiza at this time and the hotel was extremely expensive and exclusive.
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